Living in Harmony Motherhood

A little Poetry

2011-09-17T20:45:00.000-04:00

You think you know me
because you see
the reflection of a stereotype in your mind
You think you are clever
because you never
make a mistake summing up mankind
You fool only yourself in your contrived fantasy
Needing to label and caste people is ecstasy
But your fate is also with theirs intertwined

Look carefully your misplaced pity may a mirror of your life.

So Today is September 11, 2011

2011-09-11T10:30:00.000-04:00

Bismillahi Rahimnir Raheem (In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

So today is the tenth anniversary of an abominable act allegedly committed by some who called themselves Muslim. I for one do not believe that it was an attack done by the accused but rather a plan to enslave Americans, mostly and the world, in general by fear to take something greater away from each individual. Each person was supposed to lose the ability to think for himself and be "with us"...us= United States...us= "not Muslims"..us=those who think and act as sheeple. But despite the best efforts, I see that the opposite is happening. Over the years people have learned more about each other, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism and their own individual faiths. People have worked harder to be a neighbor to their neighbors. Interfaith connections and alliances are growing stronger daily. And people have converted to Islam in much larger numbers.

So today is the tenth anniversary of a world made smaller, wars in every home in every country and heart. The United States set out to get "them" but in turn caused much suffering for the families of dedicated men and women in the armed forces in America and the nations of its allies. It is not just "over there", it is everywhere. There is even unrest in our hearts and majority Muslim nations by extension responded to this unrest. People will not tolerate tyrants, also known as puppets of greater nations. People have a right to live in a just society.

So today is the tenth anniversary of redefining what we believe, how we interact with each individual and each nation. We are learning new languages and words...frightening words like...Shariah! Shariah the sacred law in the Quran not a stone's throw from the Ten Commandments has been banned in 18 states in the US and counting. This is akin to rejection of belief in God. But just like the recent earthquakes and tremors and hurricanes and monsoons in the East Coast of the United States a huge wave of overriding the hearts of men is in the works. We can not live in fear forever. Human beings need one another to survive so like it or not we must swallow and GET ALONG!

So today is the tenth anniversary to reflect and change our hearts and minds about one another. We are all brothers and sisters in the eyes of Allah, God or whatever you call our Creator. Make today the beginning of a new way of seeing humanity. Smile when you see angry eyes and say hello to that woman in a head scarf (hijab) or that face with so much distrust. A smile CAN change the world.

Reshaping My Argument Against Public School

2011-09-04T06:37:00.001-04:00

We have just have a beautiful month of fasting and remembrance of Allah and how we should be with others. Compassion, putting others needs first especially neighbors, relatives, siblings, children and our spouses should be considered first as an extension of our relationship with our Creator. Our relationship with these people reflects our relationship with Him. This is the real meaning of socialization. Knowing how to live in a society with others, regardless of their religion, political views, ethnicity, etc., in an appropriate manner is the epitome of proper socialization. As Muslims we are bonded to do this for the sake of our relationship with Allah, the Creator of All Mankind.

For many years now, I have been home schooling my children. I believed this the best way to "socialize" my children. My argument against public school was that "socialization" is not taught or inculcated in children. Rather they were encouraged to forget their self-identity and trade it for similitude. Therefore in this mass brainwashing children were taught that homogenity was best and family values and traditions be tossed. My argument was that children are supposed to only be and accept one way of being. What if you could have the best of both worlds?

What if children were "socialized" at home according to my aforementioned definition and simply learned how to apply that in a setting that discouraged it? What if you could strengthen your child's character with this strong belief and then allow them to inculcate it within themselves everyday? By extension, when they spent time with others, they would reflect and infect others with it. Is that so hard to believe? Muslims also believe that the first 7 or 8 years are most important for enjoining this deep belief system. Therefore, by the time your child reaches this age their judgement should be sound, depending on the child. For some it may take longer or a shorter amount of time. Our job as parents is simply to SEE our children for WHO they are and educate each accordingly. We can not give them perspective no matter how we try. At some point it is their own creation. However, we can help them shape it over time once they are secure in who and how they are.

So this year after much reflection, I am allowing my children to create their own perspective. Leaving my home and going into a public school under the complete protection of Allah to guide them throughout their day, I remain in dua and await the moment they return so that I may help them shape it. I am no longer arguing against public school just reshaping my perspective. May Allah protect our children and our selves from the evil of His creation, allow us to evolve as guides for our children and grant from the good things of His creation. Ameen.

Breastfeeding: more than bonding

2011-08-23T10:46:00.000-04:00

Ma shaAllah a have a child who I remember nursing until I almost shrank back down to my pre-martial size. At the time, I thought that it would never end but was pleased with the temperment it resulted. For the first time I had a calmer, more confident and happier toddler. Even today, I can calm them down with a smile or forehead to forehead nuzzle. These days I am noticing something more. In every successive stage, this child is welcoming me into their play and aha moments. How strange it is to me that breastfeeding is simply viewed as 'good food' when it is so much more. It is a vehicle of interpersonal communication that transcends human comprehension. We have words...we have skin... we have breath. All are means of transmitting parts of who we are and validating who our children are.

As muslims we are limited to two years of breastfeeding. Although I think thirty months is the absolute limit if it is difficult for the child. In my experience, the longer you nurse/ (nurture their emotional state in infancy) the more confident and courageous they become when they are older. But even if you stop breastfeeding at thirty months, continue the communication with eyes, skin and breath. Words are sometimes bereft of softening a heart or changing it. But a motherly nuzzle and remembrance of your special time past is very effective at heart changing even in the most obstinate preteen.

In these last ten days, now seven, of Ramadan re-establish that bond with your child. Forgive, forget move on and rekindle the attachment. Share something of yourself and something of your bond with your Lord with your child. In sha Allah you can build a bond for them with Him.

EC Revisited: The bond established

2011-08-21T16:43:00.000-04:00

These past months have been filled with bonding, evolution and resolve. Instead of missing every new nuance of her (the baby) movements and discovery, I have resolved to be mesmerized by it. In this resolve I have evolved in my mothering (to all of them) to truly live in each moment and stop planning and charting their futures. The result is true and nearer bonding...contentment with who and how they are.

She has surpassed all previous milestones in our family and has rapidly at nine months graduated to not only walking, talking but almost regular meals. With regular food comes a different consistency of BM :) So now when I see that she needs to go, I confirm by looking her in the eye. She stops trying and we are off to the bathroom to complete the elimination. Sometimes when she wakes up from naps or in the mornings, we greet and meet and then she babbles the EC for urination. I believe her sensitivity is increased simply by using the cloth diapers and our ability to communicate. Who knew you could accomplish EC with a house full of children?

Now I have learned no matter the amount of children you have, the inidividual relationship that you build with each allows trust and the bond. Slow down and SEE them. Know them...enjoy them!

Making better food selections

2011-05-26T16:48:00.000-04:00

I believe that we should weigh our purchasing options and in turn our purchasing power. There is so much information today about what is ‘good’ for us. But to really understand what our bodies need we must start from our humble beginnings. I recommend that we begin with obtaining and reading Healing with the Medicine of the Prophet (SWS). Read it for scientific and factual content. Then adjust your food selection, eating and cooking practices accordingly. You will notice that using simple whole food selections will bring you more energy, health and mental clarity. Notice the recommended state of food. You should be inclined to go against genetically modified foods and against poisoning our children with deadly toxins. The ancient art of eating foods in season and eating for health was gradually stolen from humanity with the dawn of industrialization which spawned greed. If we grow what we need and eat what is in season, instead of growing more than we need, we could solve almost 60% of common health issues. We can do this by following the knowledge of our scholars from the 12th century and the guidelines of our Prophet from the 7th century. How? Allah has provided everything we need most of it literally in our own backyards. For example, dandelion leaves are a great source of calcium, iron, and vitamins A-K. The flowers and roots can be made into syrup, coffee and detoxifying tonics. But we just kill them so that we can have a beautiful lawn and poison the other nutrient rich ‘weeds’ in the yard (chickweed, which can empower the body against allergies; plantain weed, commonly used for diaper rashes or skin irritants; and red clover, a lymphatic system cleanser). Chickweed and plantain weed can also be sprinkled in omelets, salads or just as a tea. Dandelion leaves can be eaten also raw or cooked. Another naturally occurring beneficial weed is nettle. Dandelion and nettle are off the chart with iron and potassium contain and very cooling or alkaline for the body. Simply they help digestion, stimulate circulation, balance the endocrine system and promote liver function. Eating these “super food” bitters can turn your health around. The sugar we inundate our bodies with these days are opposite to its need for bitters in the form of herbs, greens and roots. The further we are from this basic need the more acidic we make our bodies. Consequently we develop diabetes, PMS, cancer, high blood pressure and variety of now common medical conditions. Recent studies have been published stating that changing your diet can stop the development of cancer. There are several resources that provide a template diet to begin on the anti-cancer path. In addition to bitters, we need colorful foods. These foods with natural occurring astaxanthin and other carotenoids give the body stamina, resistance in heat and build the immune system better than Vitamins C and E. Astaxanthin is most readily available in salmon which are known for their upstream struggle during spawning season. It is the Astaxanthin that gives them the stamina. This is the perfect example of you are what you eat. Also we have always been told that carrots are good for our eyes. But more than just your eyes, other foods in this family like sweet potatoes and kale, can help your reproductive system function properly. I have mentioned several recommendations here for small diet changes but to better understand how and why these changes can benefit you read more.

On Freedom of Thought

2011-05-04T07:16:00.000-04:00

Free thinking is freedom of thought from the insidious babble of the “spin doctors”. Spin doctors is a term that has its origins in the nineteenth century but did not develop into an actual career for another century around the 1980’s. Spin means to tell a tale to sway the stories printed and broadcast by mass media. The original spin doctor also known as the father of PR was Edward Bernays who worked during the WWI in the Wilson administration to promote the idea that America's war efforts were primarily aimed at “bringing democracy to all of Europe". Once the war was over he decided to find ways to use it during peace times. His efforts were called public relations. Now every politician in the “free” world has a spin doctor, forgive me, a Press Secretary on staff. But this nephew of none other than Sigmund Freud was able to “spin” any governmental idea into believable shall we call it propaganda? These were the humble beginnings to the end of free thought. Plant an idea for the sheeple to grasp and believe. But as Muslims we are reminded constantly to “reflect”. We are encouraged to verify information that we are told. If we fail to do that we are also contributing to spreading lies. We are not supposed to be sheeple but pensive reflectors of light. In reflecting, we will think deeply, freely, as prescribed by our Creator to follow the just path. So being free thinking is to be Muslim.

Detox Salad

2011-04-21T09:20:00.000-04:00

So one day I had a taste for something a little bit different. The children wanted beets and they were sitting in the refrigerator awaiting a meal.What to do different with beets? I thought, I want a salad but I want something warm and crunchy...So here it is!

Root vegetables and bitter greens are best for digestion, bile secretion, liver cleansing or as we know it detoxifying. Wild spring mixed salad greens can include dendelion, beet greens and spinach. Not to mention the array of other vitamins and minerals therewith (A,B1-B12, C, D, E K, Niacin, Biotin, Iron, Folate, etc.)Remember also that the bitter greens are higher in calcium, phosphorus, magnesium. These are all bone and muscle building vitamins. The chia seeds and nuts, by the handle full, enhance these qualities and help to balance your sugar levels and add complete protein making this salad a super antioxidant low calorie meal.

3 medium carrots

4 beets
wild spring mixed greens (dandelion,beet greens,spinach)
arugula
3 TBSP chia seeds
1 TBSP almonds or pistachios
1TBSP coconut oil
2 inches fresh ginger minced
6-7 cloves garlic minced
1 small onion minced

serves 6

Coarsely cut carrots, beets and greens. Finely mince onions,ginger, garlic and nuts. On a low heat warm oil and saute onions and ginger. After two minutes add garlic for about one minute. Sprinkle with vegetable curry and set aside. Meanwhile steam carrots and beets for 15 minutes. Combine carrots and beets with the saute mix. Spread arugula and wild mixed spring salad greens on a plate. Take two scoops of the carrot and beet mixture on top of greens, sprinkle with chia seeds and nuts.Sea salt to taste. No salad dressing required.
Feel free to use the juice from the vegetable mix!

On Spring

2011-04-07T20:03:00.002-04:00

Spring is here and everyone is starting on a new diet to have that perfect summer physique. But why wait until spring? What if you took care of yourself year round and always had a great physique and loads of energy?

Overall for my family I choose to eat whole foods. That means for example instead of apple juice we eat apples. It also means that instead of taking multivitamins, we drink loose leaf herbal teas; the source of plant based vitamins. Herbs in their natural form are easier to matriculate into our body systems. I will not be doing a series on nutrition but will write a few articles more than usual about it.

Along the way I have sometimes stumbled upon great “super” foods during research and other times, I have made calculated choices. For example, my children love yogurt. I do not make it and found super pro-biotic yogurt on sale. Who knew that something so good for you could be also delicious. When I was trying to solve the bowel movement issues with my nursing infant, I researched and made a decision to permanently change over to only bitter greens in the form of mixed spring salad greens, steamed greens or green smoothies. We are not so crazy about green smoothies but love salads and simply cooked greens. Below are some other general recommendations when making changes to your diet permanently.

Some things to consider are whole food choices are always best; small frequent portions are better; eating heavier foods earlier in the day is best; and eating dinner before 8 pm is best.

Also make sure that you are reading the labels sugar-free sometimes means sodium heavy or undesirable substitutes for sugar. Remember to always stick to whole food choices. The sugar in fruit is better than the sugar in juice. Flax seeds have great nutritional value but are not digested easily. It is better to ground them or use chia seeds which are comparable yet digestible. Green whole leaf organic teas are a better choice than bag tea. If you are nursing the black tea has a higher caffeine content which is not good. Also a great whole leaf green tea mixture, like raspberry, alfalfa, hibiscus and nettle gives an awesome energy boost. It also helps the body readily absorb nutrients and detoxify. Green smoothies are a great alternative to salad or steamed greens. Also remember the bitter greens are better for digestion. Raw (white) whole cheeses are better.

Steaming allows most of the nutrients to remain and the veggies are still crunchy while cooking depletes up to 80% of the nutritional value. Raw is best. Olive oil is better for us uncooked.

Making minor changes can make a world of difference.

Now for the compliment of an excellent diet….exercise. Pilates is my exercise of choice. However over the years I have combined other great exercises, weights, belly dancing and an elliptical trainer to name a few. Every other day I do a non- muscle ripping exercise i.e. belly dancing, Pilates. On these days I break up my workout into several usually three 5-10 intervals (before breakfast, lunch and dinner). The other days I use the elliptical for 20 – 30 minutes or do a twenty minute weight workout. My weight workout is basically my five minute workout with 3-5 pound weights. I am happy to say that after having five beautiful, healthy children I still look same as the day I got married.

The key is to make a lifestyle change and stick to it. I would love to hear and respond to your comments as I am aspiring to start my own personal training business.

Freethinking and Muslim? Really?

2011-03-25T11:31:00.001-04:00

May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon everyone reading this post no matter your religion, values system or viewpoint. It is with a heavy heart that I post this blog today. Yesterday I decided, just out of curiosity to do a google search on 'Freethinking and Muslim'. I am sad to say that it produced a shameful mix of hate and confusion. Then I decided to modify the search to 'freethinking Muslim'. Unfortunately the results were not much better. I found a quite disturbing blog by some Muslims not in touch with their faith who claim that the Golden Age of Islam, during the 800 years in Andalusian Spain, were only due to the lack of practicing Muslims in the empire. They claimed that with the teachings of Al-Ghazali the end became unavoidable and all 'progressive knowledge seeking" lost. When in fact, during this period of enlightenment in the Muslim world, it was because of the encouragement in the Quran to "seek knowledge" many scientific and philosophical breakthroughs were made. How bereft are we as humanity of understanding history and separating fact from fiction. I am happy to say that I also found a blog by a secular American who clearly presented the argument that radical elements of Fundamentalists Evangelical Christianity in America and radical Islam around the world is a recipe for disaster. He went on to mention that we as humanity need to be able to agree to disagree and move on.

Free thinking by definition means

adj.

inclined to forms one's own opinions rather than depend upon authority, especially about social and religious issues; exhibiting boldness of speculation; skeptical of authority.

Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, published 1913 by C. & G. Merriam Co.

In my opinion this definition needs to be revised and updated for the 21st century inclined to form one's own opinions rather than depend upon authority, especially about social and religious issues while not escaping simple human values and even practicing a religion; exhibiting boldness of speculation; skeptical of governmental authority. My guess is that the original definition was put in place as a stigma to use for political reasons to define dissidents, Communists, etc. However, today in the age of widespread knowledge and widespread lack of critical thinking, this definition is used proudly as badge of honor. In my viewpoint, using my updated definition, I am more inclined (pun intended) to proudly where this label as a badge of honor. Islam teaches us to seek knowledge but not to disobey authority that is just. In this day and age we live a world where most countries in the world enforce authority without justice.

As a practicing Muslim, (yes I said it) I believe that we should go against genetically modified foods, against poisoning our children with deadly vaccinations, against intolerance, against violating civil liberties and the list goes on. We can do this by following the knowledge of our scholars from the 12th century and the guidelines of our Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, from the 7th century. The ancient art of eating foods in season was stolen from humanity with the dawn of industrialization which spawned greed. If we grow what we need and eat what is in season, instead of growing more than we need to make a profit, we could solve almost 60% for the world's problems. How? By using machines to harvest we collect more, but destroy the air with the engine's fuel. The fuel comes from the Earth, which creates jobs but causing tectonic instability. The tectonic instability causes erosion, tsunamis, etc. The "natural disasters" cause loss, devastation, economic and political instability, etc. However, on a lighter note "natural disasters" can also cause people to remember their Creator and help their fellow 'man' and perhaps be kinder to the Earth. But in most cases we are just using these disasters as a means to an end and an opportunity to usurp another countries' resources and political system. These "humanitarian outreach" quickly become a noose by which we enslave the land and people far away. The enslavement inevitably will not last and the people of the land rebel and cause political unrest for the imperial power. The people of the "Superpower" are fed lies of emanate "terror attacks" which allow people to willingly be robbed of their own civil liberties. What a vicious cycle of deceit? And for what?

Is it not easier to be kind to the Earth in turn being kind to humanity and in turn using what your Creator has alotted for you. The Quran says:

(30:22) And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. Verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge.

(30:23) And among His Signs is your sleep by night and by day, and your seeking of His Bounty. Verily, in that are indeed signs for people who listen.

(30:39-40) And that which you give in a gift (to others) in order that it increase (your wealth by expecting to get a better one in return) from other people's property, has no increase with Allah; but that which you give in Zakat (charity) seeking Allah's Countenance, then those they shall have manifold increase. Allah is He Who created you, then provided food for you, then will cause you to die, then (again) He will give you life (on the Day of Resurrection). Is there any of your (so-called) partners of Allah that do anything of that? Glory to Him! And Exalted is He above that (evil) they associate (with Him).

InshaAllah (Allah willing) one day people will be of sound knowledge and use what they need and help for the love of Allah alone.

The Beauty of Shea Butter

2011-03-24T17:23:00.002-04:00

We are finding out daily that our health and beauty products are not doing our bodies any good. More and more people are seeking natural alternatives with purer ingredients. That is why I am happy to see that you have started to make skin cream. Tell me your story. (This is an interview with Marcy Brown-Kelly a representative from http://sheabutternaturally.com/)

How did you get started?

Actually, how I got started was by accident. I have a friend whose ex-husband was selling 100% Raw Unrefined Shea Butter, which is only grown in Africa. The east and west to be more specific, we get ours from Togo. In any event, my friend and her husband at the time created a line called "Elixir of Love." When she first approached me about helping I must admit I was apprehensive for several reason. First, I am not one to sell any product that I don't believe in. Secondly I had been asked to sell "Mary Kay" and "Avon", to name a few, with no interested or desire of doing so. Thirdly, I had begun to move towards using products that are all natural. I was sold the first time I tried it.

Do you make the products yourself?Yes we actually do. We use coconut oil and essential oils along with the shea butter. What's great about our product is that even though we add coconut oil which is also great for the skin and the essential oil you will not lose any of the benefits of the shea butter. We keep it all natural. The coconut oil seem to cut some of the greasiness and the essential oils for aroma therapy. We tried other oils but none seem to give us the emulsion we were looking for. The essential oils are one of the best on the market.

What are the ingredients?

Shea butter, Coconut Oil & Essential Oils. I find that alot of companies say they have shea butter in it, but because there are so many other ingredients the effect of shea butter is lost. At that point why mention it.

Where do your raw materials come from?

We use 100% raw unrefined shea butter which comes from Africa. That is the only place you can get shea butter. A little history, it is a nut that grows on a shea tree. The woman pick the nuts and crush them, then roast them and then take the inside of the nut and put it in a gourd that is basically where shea butter comes from. It can be a cream color or yellow. Ours is typically cream colored. Shea butter grows in East & West Africa the only difference is that East African shea butter is mostly used for cooking, while West African shea butter is used for the skin.

I understand separately coconut oil and Shea butter can be used as a natural sun screen.

Shea butter has vitamins A, E, & F and also cinnamic acid which is a natural sun screen. It has an Sun Protection Factor (aka) SPF of only 6 however I use it as a sun screen and have never burned. It is great for gardening and if you are just hanging out. However if I were going to sun tan I would probably use shea butter as a base and use something with more protection. As with most products everyone's skin is different I would use some caution.

On the other had coconut oil has also been use as a sun screen, however I have not been able to find the SPF. Coconut oil which is also excellent for the skin can also burn your skin. One must also use caution since it is not purported as a sun screen. Coconut oil is used in the Philippines and the tropical islands and they have no skin cancer rates.

We are not intended to stay in the sun for several hours. Normal times to be in the sun are before 9 AM and after 4:40 PM when the better or not so UV damaging rays are in the sky.

What other benefits do they have?

Other benefits of shea butter are, it is great on the skin because it helps to restore elasticity to the skin, diaper rash and mosquito's do not like shea butter. It is great for eczema and psoriasis. The vitamin F in shea butter helps to keep the skin moisturized, since both eczema and psoriasis are drying on the skin and itchy.

Besides the pleasant aroma, what is the purpose of essential oil?

Actually most of our oils are for your basic aromatherapy reason. However peppermint is good for the feet, ginger is good for personal hygiene and tea tree and carrot are great for the skin.

What essential oils do you use and why?We use mostly floral and citrus scents.

Where do you get you essential oils?

We get ours from Kentucky. Our essential oils are the top of the line. They are made exclusively from the plant, root, flower, seed and even bark. The company does their research on the essential oils on every level.

Do you make them also?

Unfortunately, we do not, it is such an intricate and arduous process which makes it difficult for us to do make our own at this time. However we hope to in the near future.

How much are they?

The small 2oz jars cost $20, however as you know you need very little, because it goes a long way. The small jars usually last a couple of months. The larger 4oz jar goes for $25, however we only sell the raw in large jars. It will last at least a year. I keep coming back to the essential oils, these oils are incredible, the process alone is worth it. Each captures it's true essence of it's scent. Some may say it is expensive, but I feel like my skin is worth it. You only get one skin. I am 54 years old and have been told that I look 35. While some if it is attributed to my family and another to the fact that I am African-American, I know that I can also give credit to shea butter and Shea Essential because of the elasticity restoration, I have no wrinkles. For me it is the best investment you will ever make.

What is the purpose of aromatherapy?

For us the reason we decide to go that route, my friend's husband had been in the business since 1978 just selling raw shea butter. He made a good living, but he decide to take poll with his clientele and pose the question, "If there were one thing you could change about shea butter what would it be?" The smell was unanimous. That was when his wife created "Elixir of Love." Which is shea butter, coconut oil and essential oils.

How does it benefit the body?

Peppermint is great for feet and legs, ginger is good for personal hygiene, carrot is great for the face. lavender is very relaxing. The other are great because of the pheromones.

What more would you like to share?
In both my humble and professional opinion, shea butter is absolutely amazing, the best thing since candy. It is a natural product that is great for almost everything and it won't harm you. What more can one ask for.

In Defense of Natural Soap

2011-03-17T16:34:00.000-04:00

MashaAllah we have been enjoying the benefits of using the Castile soap, Lavender Tea soap and calendula soap this past week. These are all natural handmade soaps that are not drying to the skin and are very aromatic for the senses. I did continue to use the teas to lightly scent the water with lavender and hibiscus for my infant daughter incorporating the new cleansing teas chickweed and marshmallow root tea. However, I must say if you have to use soap for sensitive skin, use Castile soap.

According to http://www.goodscentscandles.us/soaphistory.php “Castile soap, made entirely from olive oil, was produced in the Kingdom of Castile in Europe as early as the 16th century (about 1616). Fine sifted alkaline ash of the Salsola species of thistle, called barilla, was boiled with locally available olive oil, instead of tallow. By adding salty brine to the boiled liquor, the soap was made to float to the surface, where it could be skimmed off by the soap-boiler, leaving the excess lye and impurities to settle out. This produced what was probably the first white hard soap, which hardened further as it was aged, without losing its whiteness, forming jabon de Castila, which eventually became the generic name.” Compared to Dove the Castile soap is more moisture-rich for her skin. It appears to be beneficial even when used daily. I used muellin flower oil (one drop) on her scalp and whipped shea butter for her skin after the bath.

Additionally for myself, I use the Lavender banana soap and the calendula. These soaps leave the skin soft and does not dry it out. So in defense of natural soap if you must use soap buy hand made.

Teas, Soaps and Creams: A Guide to Cleansing Teas

2011-03-07T17:40:00.002-05:00

Alhamdullilah it has been a week and I have used various combinations of teas and moisturizing methods. Below we will discuss what works best so far. Keep in mind that my tea order will not be delivered until today, so the teas I am using are regular teas that you may already use.

The first of the week I used Jasmine and a relaxing tea mix (Organic Chamomile flowers, organic Lavender flowers, organic Comfrey leaf, Rose Petals, organic Hops flowers, Passionflower and a blend of true essential oils) followed by using shea butter oil to moisturizer. I modified the amount of Jasmine finding that the stronger the tea 1 tablespoon) it dried the skin. By the end of the week, I used 2 tea teaspoons of Jasmine, 1 tablespoon of lavender, 1/2 tablespoon of hibiscus, 4 red clover blossoms. I steeped the tea for 10 minutes and it had a a pleasant scent and very light color. Instead of the relaxing tea mixture, I used two tablespoons of olive oil and one of shea butter oil. After the bath I no longer needed to do additional moisturizing. So why does using actual oils in the water with the tea better than moisturizing after the tea bath? Also why was the combination of less Jasmine better than more? The answers may be obvious but let’s review what the research tells us. My information is from www.learningherbs.com. This is a resource center for herbal and essential oil learning.

Jasmine - It can be used for the treatment of dry, greasy, irritated, sensitive skin; dermatitis; eczema; stress-related skin disorders

Lavender - It can be used for the treatment of dermatitis, eczema, psoriasis and acne. Because of its low toxicity it is considered one of the safest essential oils to use with children. Blend well with Jasmine and essential oils.

Hibiscus - In treatments for dry hair, the components of Hibiscus increase the moisture in the horny layer and generate the hydro- lipid film, which gives hair its silky, shiny look. (http://www.ageless.co.za/herb-hibiscus.htm)

Red Clover - The infusion (made will oil)can also be used externally (as well as internally without oil) to nourish the skin, eliminating eczema and psoriasis.

Olive oil - Works as a carrier oil to the volatile oils in the flowers listed above

Shea Butter oil - Fats pressed out during the process of making shea butter; pressed oil.

Relaxing Tea bath - Fragrant baths have been enjoyed for centuries for their healing and purifying properties, not to mention how splendid it is to bathe in fresh, and fragrant herbs and flowers! If you ever wanted to pamper yourself with a true bathing delight, then you must try our certified organic Bath Herbs.Our line of bath herbs comes packaged in an attractive kraft bag with a re-usable drawstring muslin bag which, once filled with the herbs, is used to infuse botanical aromas and herbal sensations to your bathing water.

In conclusion, as we can see by making the tea infusion and then adding the carrier oils, I created a soothing skin conditioner while cleansing the skin. I have received my natural soap order from www.sea9soap.com today and the owner has mashaAllah, given me a gift of special soap for the baby. It is a soap made with 100% olive oil and a small amount of chamomile essential oil. I am still awaiting my order of chickweed and marshmallow root and may also compare and contrast the two (tea vs soap) in the next installment.

InshaAllah in the weeks to come I will try and incorporate interviews from skincare professionals that either make skin care creams or natural soaps.

Teas, Soaps and Creams: Your Baby’s Skin

2011-03-01T16:16:00.000-05:00

InshaAllah I will be doing a series on skincare. You may apply these uses for yourself as well as your baby. We have looked at using teas for your postpartum body but what about your baby’s new skin? Do we really need soap? Does Johnson and Johnson or California baby do their skin any good? Herbs in the form of tea can be readily absorbed into the skin as well as the digestion system. What’s more is they can be equally beneficial. In this first part we will discuss the teas recommended for cleansing the skin with care.

Historically, I have used Dove soap for my children. It is mild and seems to moisture the skin compared any other baby product. Yes I have tried Johnson& Johnson’s aromatherapy line with chamomile, lavender and the like. I have tried Aveeno’s oatmeal line. This time in the vein of “going organic” i even have tried California Baby. I have used “natural vegan” soap. In the end soap is soap. The lye and alcohol byproducts reverse the qualities of the beneficial ‘teas” (lavender, chamomile, etc.) in the ingredients. No problem that is the purpose of baby lotion, right? Well, there again with the baby lotion also has adverse ingredients. The best thing to use is really a ‘natural’ cream. However, it can not do its job working against the ever drying ingredients in soap. So how then should we cleanse our new baby’s skin without robbing it of natural oils?

Before I answer this question, I will share my latest challenge. Having had a home birth I did not have to endure my daughter being whisked away and vigorously scrubbed of her protective vernix. Instead, I allowed it to disappear by massaging it into her skin giving her a moisture seal. After a week I gave her the first sponge with a teaspoon of California Baby liquid soap and lukewarm water. Every three to four days I sponged her skin with the former, or Dove or some vegan soap. I noticed that her scalp was getting increasingly scaly. Having never dealt with cradle cap before, I did not recognize what was happening. After three months she developed full fledged cradle cap. Of course, my first thought was, ‘my crunchy ways have caused this! ‘ But after doing a bit of research, I found that actually cradle cap is pretty common and disappears on its own after a few months to a year. No big deal right? As you can guess that answer did not settle well with me. So off to find a better answer. A knowledge friend of mine recommended a tea mixture. I also remembered a conversation I had with one of my sisters-in-law. She said, green tea is best. In the meantime, as my Western mentality could and would not ascribe to the possibility that tea can actually cleanse the skin, I went the moisture route. I tried olive oil as recommended by www.askdrsears.com. Still she had scales. I tried shea butter et voila the scales loosened and were easily brushed away. But after a few more weeks of this method, she still had thick flakes. Now I was willing to try the tea cleansing method. So I finally ordered some tea as recommended by my friend. However, watching her head flake again made waiting hard. So this morning I decided to search whether tea was better than soap. All that resulted from the search was bathing tea stores and recipes. In reading the recipe, I discovered that I had some of the teas in my pantry.

So let me now answer the aforementioned question. Tea is best to cleanse the skin. The definition of tea in this article is the dried loose leaf type purchased at health food stores and web sites. Depending on your purpose, the possibilities are endless to make your own home made green tea bags. For what I need chickweed and lavender best for rashes (also itches and bites) and red clover for detoxification. It is best to put the loose leaves in a muslin bags. However, I found that an old matchless baby sock did the trick. I used jasmine tea, lavender and red clover. I made the water hot enough to steep the tea bag and then sat her in it while using the sock as a wash cloth for her hard to clean areas (scalp, neck and under arms) mashaAllah. After bathing I quickly patted her dry with a cotton towel more like a blanket. As for her scalp, it shined beautifully and clear of flakes. While her pores were still open, I moistened her skin and scalp with shea butter oil (lighter than shea butter but just as effective.

InshaAllah next time we will move on to identifying which teas are best.

Nutrition and Excrement: Your baby's body

2011-02-19T09:37:00.001-05:00

As a breastfeeding mother sometimes it is hard to know whether your baby is getting enough. We can only watch the end result (diapers) and breathe a sigh of relief. According to Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding, "you can tell that your baby is getting enough fluids if she gives you eight soaking wet cloth diapers (five or six disposable diapers) within a twenty-four -hour period...you should be getting three to four of these poopy diapers within a twenty-four-hour period (to count as a poopy diaper, the stained area should be as large as a large grape.)p. 107 Here she is describing the mustard colored breastfeeding baby poo. But what if everything is going fine until your baby reaches five weeks? Let's say the bowel movements halt for several days as in almost a week? Frantic, right?

Well according to several accounts of mothers and pediatricians this is very common if the baby is nursing. Mother's milk is easily digested and every ounce does the baby's body good! At about five weeks, the baby begins a rapid growth spirt that may last until five months. So relax...yeah, right. If you are like me you will wait with baited breath for the weekly BM while researching frantically for a better answer. While I had noticed that when I ate green leafy vegetables, she had two to three BMs a week instead of one huge blow out; I did not really actively record that fact. Then when she was going on three months I finally found a new answer, you should eat more green leafy vegetables so that the baby will be regular. It was actually the comment of one mother following an article by a pediatrician from Boston Children's Hospital. There my experiment began.

I sent my husband to the store to get dandelion and mustard greens and swiss chard, my favorites. The first day I had swiss chard and twenty-four hours later she had a good sized BM. Yeah! Two days later I had dandelion. That day she had a BM. Two days later, when the dandelion finished, I had the mustard greens. Again she had two good sized BMs that day. So let's evaluate the data. Yes green leafy vegetables work but the more bitter the better. But why?

Dandelion is the best free growing overlooked superfood literally in your own backyard..."The leaves are more nutritious than anything you can buy. They're higher in beta-carotene than carrots. The iron and calcium content is phenomenal, greater than spinach. You also get vitamins B-1, B-2, B-5, B-6, B-12, C, E, P, and D, biotin, inositol, potassium, phosphorus, magnesium, and zinc by using a tasty, free vegetable that grows on virtually every lawn. The root contains the sugar inulin, plus many medicinal substances."

Mustard greens are part of the family of plants called cruciferous. The best know in this family are kale and collard greens. This family of plants is best for providing nutrient support to three very important body systems detoxification, antioxtidant and inflammatory/anti-inflammatory system. According to www.whfoods.com,"Chronic imbalances in any of these three systems can increase risk of cancer, and when imbalances in all three systems occur simultaneously, the risk of cancer increases significantly. Among all types of cancer, prevention of the following cancer types is most closely associated with intake of mustard greens: bladder cancer, breast cancer, colon cancer, lung cancer, prostate cancer, and ovarian cancer. You also get vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B6, C, K, biotin, folate, magnese, protein, copper, iron, phosphorus, magnesium, dietary fiber and calcium.

So what does all this mean? I currently am maintaining a high protein diet as is recommended when you are nursing. Protein is difficult for the body to breakdown without the help of biotin and dietary fiber. Another good source of biotin is potatoes. So by changing my diet to include these greens in combination with meat, legumes and potatoes solved the one a week BM issue. We are now three weeks into this new/ revisited regimen (I ate like this during pregnancy and her first few weeks of life.) and she has reached a new milestone...sitting up! Guess what? Again five days with no BM...am I panicking? No because I now know she is getting what she needs and having another growth spirt.

Postpartum Care: How to Take of You, Inside and Out Part Three

2011-02-02T18:10:00.000-05:00

The best way to avoid postpartum depression is a combination of good nutrition and exercise. There are many baby-friendly postnatal exercise tapes on the market. My favorite is the The Perfect Postnatal Workout by Karyne Steben. Exercise is also a great way to give you an energy boost no matter how tired you maybe. Most mornings after four or five hours of sleep a quick 30 minute workout can be a great pick up.
In Denise Austin’s new book, Get Energy!, she recommends (p.33)“to sail through the day with energy, you have to prime your mind and body-and there’s no better time than the moment you open your eyes.” She continues that she teams her morning stretch with “affirmations”. For me I make duaa “O Allah, I seek refuge with you from distress, grief, incapacity, laziness, miserliness, cowardice, the burden of debt and from being overpowered by men”.(Bukhari) “All praises are due to Allah, O Allah, as you have given me a good physical form, so also favor me with good morals and manners.”(Al-Nasi) And there are many others you may want to say. Only Allah can give us all that we need to do all that is required of us each day as new mothers whether it is your first child or fifth. InshaAllah this will help you to start your day with an open mind, heart, spirit and energetic body.

In the initial six weeks after birth, you may not be capable of doing much more than kegels and perhaps a walk. However, once the baby is eight weeks, you should be able to move to the next level. For me that means baby-wearing, adding weights to my workout and more focus on abdominal toning (Pilates, etc.) I understand that baby wearing is not for everyone but hold your baby close for an extra five minutes before laying them in the bed. For me baby-wearing, done properly, is also a matter of well-being. Whenever you have to pick something off the floor, you must descend bending knees while keeping your back erect. Basically this is the same as a double-legged squat. As mother used to always tell me, 'keep your abdomen strong, hold in your stomach and keep good posture'. Therefore, throughout the day you are working your, abs, hips, thighs, and making your lower half your better half InshaAllah! If you choose not to wear your baby, lift him with arms bent at the elbow and close to your body with knees slightly bent. Now you are working your upper back, neck and biceps. Also play with your baby, while laying on the floor put her on your knees, while bending them at a 90 degree angle and move backward and forward. If you pay attention your movements throughout the day and maintain excellent posture while holding in your abs, you will be back to your pre-baby body in no time. The constant flow of oxygen to your brain and muscles will also keep your spirits and energy level high throughout the day. Of course let's not forget that we burn many calories just breastfeeding but while wearing your baby you are doing both a cardiovascular and weight training exercise. Try to find an additional thirty minutes at least per day to also exercise. You need your "me" time too.

By drinking tea, taking a tea bath, regular exercise and wearing your baby, you attain inner warmth as well as outer warmth which is a great healer for the body. I hope that you have enjoyed this series and will inshaAllah benefit much for reading it, using the recommendations and implementing it. Most importantly never underestimate the healing power of dua to take care of you inside and out.

Postpartum Care: How to Take of You, inside and out Part Two

2011-02-01T10:50:00.000-05:00

Alhamdullilah! We are getting to know our darling child day by day and finding that it requires more energy than we seem to have!! How do we eat to keep up with all that our new family requires?

Now let’s talk more about what to give our bodies postpartum. Ina May’s Guide to Breastfeeding mentions the best nutrition for nursing mothers on pages 45-49, which I will attempt to summarize for you. In short it is always best to eat whole foods and stay away from processed foods including eating fast foods. Stick to the basics of calcium-rich foods like dark greens (kale, dandelion, swiss chard), proteins and goods carbs (black chickpeas, lentils, dal, black beans, red beans, chicken, fish, and red meat in moderation) and vitamin D (cod liver oil or krill oil). Vitamin D is especially important for us as hijabis or people of color who may not get adequate exposure to sunlight. Also cook with sea salt (which usually has magnesium great for normal muscle and nerve function, regulating blood pressure and sugar levels and strong bones), olive oil or coconut oil. Eat fresh fruits like bananas, pomegranate (for immune building), apples or any non - citrus fruits. Be aware that eating chocolate, cinnamon, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, garlic and onions can cause upset for the nursing baby. However, ginger root with cinnamon stick as a tea helps if you get a cold or the baby gets colic. Ginger is known for soothing the digestive track and works better than coffee as a stimulant on those hard to wake mornings.

Eating well can be a challenge as it is very common for new mothers to not have extended family or even their mothers available for emotional and physical support. Remember take it slow and do what you can when you can always making dua. You can also have vegetables chopped in advance or meats seasoned and frozen for quick cooking. While postpartum depression is not the norm it is very prevalent. Here is an herbal tea of postpartum depression (1/2 oz. chopped licorice root, 1oz. raspberry leaf, 1 oz., chopped rosemary leaves, 1 oz., skullcap. Use 1 teaspoon of the chopped mixture to 1 cup of boiling water and drink 2 to 3 cups per day. Also drink a mixture of raspberry leaf, alfalfa and nettle tea to increase your iron, electrolytes and ability to heal at least once per day. Water and/or coconut water also help to keep you hydrated and by extension milk production for the baby. Coconut water is also excellent directly after delivery to restore lost electrolytes and help blood clotting. http://www.living-foods.com/articles/coconutwater.html Fresh ginger root minced with alfalfa, nettle and raspberry leaf with honey and a squeeze of lemon is also great for keeping your immune system resistant. After straining the herbs with a sieve, you can reuse the tea mixture for up to three days preserved in a glass container. After the strength of the tea mixture is gone use it still as a base for sauce or ginger paste in cooking.

Tomorrow, inshaAllah we will talk about the perfect companion to good nutrition...EXERCISE!!!!

Postpartum Care: How to Take Care of You, Inside and Out Part 1

2011-01-31T18:01:00.001-05:00

Alhamdullilah! your long awaited moment has arrived and your darling baby is here! You are tired from the effort you spent. The past few hours, weeks and months have all given passage to this new beginning. This is a very important time for you and your child called the baby-moon...yes, like a the honey moon after your marriage. Resist the urge to “get back to normal”. Just bask in the presence of your newborn and look into her/his eyes and get acquainted with the meaning of each movement or facial expression. When you bathe, bathe together. When you sleep, sleep together. When you eat, eat together. “The first three months after a baby is born are known as the fourth trimester. During this time, the mother’s body serves as a kind of “external” placenta for the baby. And the baby herself is considered an “external fetus” who requires a great deal of contact with with her mother’s body for optimal regulation of her breathing, temperature, digestion, and so on.” (p. 502, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, Christaine Northrup, M.D.) With this in mind you must continue to care for your body and spirit meticulously as during your pregnancy. Your focus on good nutrition must intensify as well as your spiritual connection to balance your emotions. Get to know your baby as an individual and welcome the challenge of doing all things with them.

Keeping your baby with you in all things seems great in theory but you may ask how? First and foremost, tell yourself to ‘slow down’. Recognize the needs of your body and the needs of your child. My midwife recommends not going up or down stairs for the first forty-eight hours and not driving for the first three weeks. So take the first three weeks especially slow if possible. The first few days you may be very tired and sore. On the third day attempt to start doing kegels throughout the day while eating and nursing, etc. Soak for at least ten minutes in a small sitz bath of tea while holding the baby on in your arms. You can also use a bathing chair while you or an older, preschool age, sibling are in the tub. This is a perfect, enjoyable introduction to water and bathing for the baby. In eating it becomes more of snack time for the you while nursing in a recliner, glider or on the couch. Since you must eat the same six small meals as during your pregnancy, take your “meal” to your designated “nursing nook” and say your dua and have a meal with your new partner. Afterwards burp your darling and wear them. At this time you want focus on both in and outer warmth for your body to heal. There are many leaves that can assist the body as a tea, compress or bath. Alfafa, raspberry leaf, borage, fennel, fenugreek and blessed thistle also help to increase milk supply. Tea bath ingredients are (Marshmallow root, chamomile, plantain leaf, yarrow, elder flower, comfrey leaf) and can be purchased at any natural health food store or online(see banner for Mountain Rose Herbs). This combination can also be used to ease breast engorgement when your milk comes in. Marshmallow root has an amazing affect on the skin to soften the skin from the inside out and vanish stretch marks.

Tomorrow inshaAllah we will focus more on food choices. May Allah keep you whole in mind, body and spirit until then. Ameen.

Salat: a comfort for the soul

2011-01-29T10:23:00.001-05:00

MashaAllah now your 40 days have ended and you can make salat once again! Alhamdullilah!

Your precious bundle of joy also beckons you as the sound of the athan starts. You must attend to the needs of your crying child first. In the early months of life train the child to eat before prayer time. Anticipate the prayer time and feed your baby half an hour before complete with a diaper change. Once the child is settled, make wudu. Then pray in the same room with the baby. If she wakes during your prayer know this ruling.

According to http://islamqa.com/en/ref/75005/crying%20child:

If a child is crying and his father or mother are unable to quieten him down during a congregational prayer, then it is permissible to stop praying in order to quieten him down, for fear that his crying may be because of some harm that has befallen him, and for fear that the prayer of others may be spoiled because of the disturbance.

If it is possible to quieten him down with a slight movement and without turning away from the qiblah, then the woman may do that and go back to her prayer. She may, for example, move backwards to pick him up without stopping her prayer. But if she is not able to quieten him down without stopping her prayer altogether, then she should do that and there is no sin on her in sha Allaah.

It says in Mataalib Ooli al-Nuha (1/641):

It is Sunnah for the imam to make the prayer brief if something happens during the prayer that means that one of the worshippers has to stop praying, such as hearing a child crying, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I start the prayer intending to make it long, then I hear a child crying, so I make it brief lest I cause hardship to his mother.” Narrated by Abu Dawood. End quote.

Also know that: Be of good cheer and hope for grace and reward with Allah, may He be exalted. Renew your intention in every endeavor and resolve perseverance in your obligations to Allah and your family, and take measures that will help you to do that. Then if you cannot pray naafil or voluntary prayer because your baby is crying, you will still have the hope of attaining the reward in full, in sha Allah.

It is important to make the baby accustomed to the sounds and presence of salat time. Insha Allah it will become a comfort to their soul throughout life.

The Honor of Nursing your child

2011-01-28T16:09:00.000-05:00

"Narrated Anas(RA): Sallamah, the nurse of his son Ibrahim, said to the Prophet (SAWS) said: O Messenger of Allah, you brought tidings of all the good things to men but not to women. He said: Did your women friends put you up to asking me this question? She said: Yes, they did. He said: Does it not please any one of you that if she is pregnant by her husband and he is satisfied with her that she receives the reward of one who fasts and prays for the sake of Allah? And when the labour pains come no one in Heaven or earth knows what is concealed in her womb to soothe her (to cool her eyes). And when she delivers, not a mouthful of milk flows from her and not an instance of the child's suck, but that she receives, for every mouthful and for every suck, the reward of one good deed. And if she is kept awake by her child at night, she receives the reward of one who frees seventy slaves for the sake of Allah". (At-Tabarani)

Certainty of Faith - My Birth Story

2011-01-27T09:31:00.000-05:00

On November 5th our extraordinarily long wait to meet our fifth child ended. For most this would be a normal wait being just over forty weeks. However for someone who is accustomed to delivering between 37-38 weeks naturally (unassisted by any medicine or technology), it was extraordinarily long to wait. I began to wonder if something was wrong. By my 40th week appointment I had convinced my midwife that perhaps I was ROP or right occiput posterior. We had decided that I needed to do some special exercises prior to my Thursday appointment to change the baby's position. We found that after only 24 hours of doing these exercises, not only had I effaced more but also dilated to about 5 cm and the baby moved forward and down. Alhamdullilah! Finally progress! The miracles were only beginning.

On the list of recommended exercises was belly dancing which I had recently abandoned. I decided to give it a try…at least the move called ‘the circle’. I had another “episode” of false labor that evening. The next day my husband and I were trying to work out why the real labor would not come. In my conversation with my midwife, she explained on the advice of another midwife in these situations it is best to "induce labor with castor and an enema". My first thought what torture!... Yet a small price to pay to end this never-ending pregnancy. I asked a few question about how to proceed with this option. She explained that I would need to have a good night’s sleep, be well hydrated and eat a very good breakfast and to start very early most likely Saturday morning. I agreed and then she said, ‘or you could always just take a very long walk up and down hills.’ We walked the upgrade and downgrade around the playground with our two youngest in the nippy fall air. Upon returning, my cell phone rang; it was my midwife. She had brainstormed another idea not wanting to torment me with any natural induction practices. I had been complaining of pains in my left hip during lunges while contracting. After speaking with her chiropractor, she recommended that I get my hip adjusted and then do some acupuncture to kick start labor. In my conversation with Dr. Dixon, the chiropractor, to set up the appointment, she explained exactly what she had in mind. Over dinner, I told my husband that I had an appointment at 11:30 the next morning with the chiropractor. Personally I was not crazy about the acupuncture part while in agreement with the adjustment. However, my husband rebuked the idea entirely. I then tried to visualize the adjustment in my mind. Having practiced Pilates now for several years as well as classical stretch and now bellydancingforbirth, I tried to understand how she could move my hip. Then it occurred to me that if she could do it so could I.

After we put everyone to bed but my mind was still racing with ideas. Then the phone rang...twice...rousing my husband and we decided to have a nightcap watching a movie. It was 8:28. I made him a plate of rice and cut a pomegranate for myself. Not wanting to sit during the movie, I started to try out some of the techniques to release my hip. I focused on my bellydancingforbirth techniques starting with the circle and gradually graduating to the spiral. By 9:20 using full concentration and breathing techniques, I released my hip. Then at 9:28, I had my first painful contraction. The eight minute pattern continued until the end of the movie. Meanwhile our youngest awoke and my husband attended to him while I announced that I will probably crown soon and need to go upstairs. It was now 10:32. Imran, our youngest, protested and wanted to accompany me upstairs. As I laid down with my son to soothe him and as I shifted my weight onto the bed, I cried out with my first active labor contraction. It was time to call Liz. Not being able to talk made leaving a message difficult! It went a little something like, " AHHHHHHH...Liz it is time! Call me back I am going to the bathroom!" there began my first of four consecutive soft stools alternate with gut-wrenching contractions. Four minutes later she called back during another wretched cry. My husband answered and she exclaimed "I am on my way."

My husband was now telling me that if you need to push” I am here.” I expressed continuously how much I needed him and loved him. Then trying to keep my mouth loose so that my body would remain open, all I could recite was the Eid chant...Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, la iIlaha illah Allahu akbar Allahu Akbar wa illah il hamd! Incessantly I only recited this dua. My convulsions and trembling and overall fear as well as lucidity vanished. Again I grabbed my husband as I moved into transition, professing that I cannot push without Liz here. He called her and confirmed that she was ten minutes away. I implored him to have our oldest to open the door so that he did not have to leave me but she was attending our youngest. I then told him you need to unlock the door. He left with me steadfast in my dua...Allahu Akbar..,! He returned with Liz. It was 11:28...Alhamdullilah! I can deliver now! But oh no, it is really going to hurt because this is going to be a big baby inshaallah. I grabbed Liz's hand and as I said I can't do this... I also expressed that I really have no idea what is going on...and then it happened.

As I turned to my husband I looked into his eyes and could only say"la illaha illah"…simultaneously at 11:39 my water broke! and I was so relieved! Alhamdullilah everything will really be alright, I broke my water on own (of course I know it was only Allah who could do that) and I can really do this! I rejoiced with laughter and exclaimed Alhamdullilah!

Here I want to emphasize the importance of properly naming your child. We had chosen Muniba as the first name from surah Qaf verse(50: 8)( the one who has an absolute faith in the Oneness of Allah and performs deeds of His obedience and always begs His pardon) Now I can have my baby and with that came my Certainty of Faith... Yaqin which was also the middle name we had chosen for our daughter from surah 51:20(and on Earth are signs for those who have Faith with certainty). With absolute faith in Allah I propelled from my squat to a half stand pushing, as I would imagine Maryam (RA) did alone holding onto the date palm delivering Isa (Jesus, peace be upon him), with all my might despite the intense pressure and pain...1...2...3...4 pushes she was out! Allahu akbar! Alhamdullilah oh Allah forgive me for doubting! She is a she and she is so perfect and so beautiful! We did it! We did it together Liz!

It was 11:41. She is 7pounds, 9 ounces!

And with this birth I experienced firsthand how only Allah can bring forth his creation, the importance of humbling yourself for his assistance and the all importance of the Certainty of Faith.

My Review of Balance Board

2010-09-16T09:19:00.001-04:00

Originally submitted at Toys R Us

The Balance Board surface is high quality hardwood plywood and is completely finished using a high quality polyurethane. Excellent for the skiing enthusiast or anyone who wants healthy exercise. Balance Board Surface includes Anti-skid Strips for better, safer control and rollers that are glued a...

Perfect for Conditioning

By Momof5 from West VA on 9/16/2010

Pros: Easy To Assemble, Safe, Fun, Durable

Best Uses: Outdoors, Older Children

Describe Yourself: Stay At Home Parent, Education Oriented, Parent Of Two Or More Children

Was this a gift?: Yes

My seven and half year old son loves it for the amazing things he can do and the ease of putting it together himeself!

I love it for how it helps conditioning him for soccer and helps his focus.

(legalese)

EC and Cloth Diapering

2010-09-05T09:51:00.001-04:00

EC is an acronym for Elimination Communication. This is the practice of connecting with your baby from birth to help them let you know when they need to eliminate (i.e. urinate or defecate). I noticed from my very first child that babies are born aware of their bodily functions but we teach them to become desensitized to them. Then when it becomes inconvenient for us as parents to change another diaper or simply to costly we "potty train" them. Wouldn't it just be easier to go with the flow of nature? Yes, of course, but for several reasons we "can not". Maybe you are a working mother and your daycare provider is non-compliant. Maybe your relatives (mother or mother-in-law, or husband) are not supportive. Maybe you just do not know where to start.

It took me four children to seriously consider it and then to follow through. Even so in the end I gave up because I had a non-compliant part-time daycare provider. However, the short period of time that I did try, I believe helped strengthen and prepare my child for the separation from diapering with ease. In a matter of weeks my son went from occasionally asking me to take him to the bathroom to going on his own or with one of his siblings. I watched as he learned how to start and stop the flow of fluids. He was able to know when to even control lose stool from soiling his clothing. Now after a month of self-initiated potty training he can even control whether he gets up in the night to relieve himself or waits until after breakfast. To me this is absolutely amazing as I struggled with my older son during potty training. He was well over three before he had reached the level of security that my two and half year son now has. My daughters were not such an issue. My first child was a girl and in the first two months I religiously stuck to my conviction of EC. By the time she was ready to be "potty trained", it happened in weeks with ease just before two. My third child, also a girl, self-trained by 18 months. However, I did not actively or consistently use EC.

Regression in potty training is another common problem that I did not experience with any of children except again the second one (my older son). I attribute the EC connection with my older daughter to her not regressing. However, for my second daughter, I attribute home birth. She was the first to welcome her younger brother into the family. They immediately bonded and connected. InshaAllah with my next home birth we will again avoid regression.

With my fourth child, I really opened up to my natural mothering strengths and abilities. I embraced cloth diapering in the process and actually followed through at two separate points ( in the first four months and the middle, two months 15-16 month). This time I am researching and have firmly committed to practice both EC and cloth diapering 100%. It has been a long road but at least I stayed on it.

Connecting In Utero without a Sonogram

2010-09-05T09:47:00.000-04:00

What if you knew the exact position of your child? What if every movement from the first quickening until delivery day, you bonded with your child and began to understand their personality? What if just by being aware of the baby's position you you were prepared for the unexpected?

In this day and age it has become a "tradition" to anxiously await the 20th or 24th week appointment for the beloved sonogram! Then you will know where, how and who you baby is, right? It's a boy! or It's a girl! you will squeal with delight. Oh he has his father's nose or ears or mouth! Smiles and cheers! Then you go home with your ever clearer in utero image of your baby to share with friends and family. Now you "know" how to prepare for your child, right?

What do you suppose women have been doing the centuries before this enamoured technology? Did they await with sweaty palms and bated breath for the "dreaded" day? NO!They "knew" their child from conception, from the first quickening and with every movement there after. But how you ask? Before technology, the human race in general but women more specifically were in touch with the Earth and their Creator and therefore themselves. Simply by feeling the kicks, wiggles and bulges in certain parts of their bellies, they knew the position of the baby and how to change their activities to have the baby correctly aligned by the due date. They also could sometimes tell by the baby's activities or heart beat or position (how the belly looks on the outside) he gender of the child. These beliefs are nowadays tossed aside as conjecture or "old wives tales".

However, there is a midwife in Minnesota, who has reconnected with this science and calls it Belly Mapping. She can help women know the exact position of their baby thus connecting them and empowering them for welcoming the baby into the world. Once the exact position is known, she can recommend exercises and activities for proper alignment. In most cases the mispositioned babies comes from our sedentary lifestyle. Most OBs may or may not be aware of this science but should be. By simply applying some of these belly mapping techniques most C-sections could be avoided. So much has been lost in women giving up their natural power to technology and pathological practices.

I stumbled upon this science myself by simply researching about the baby resting on my sacrum. My search directed me to a web site called spinningbabies.com. On my next midwife appointment I plan on sharing my findings. And for the reminder of my pregnancy I plan on mapping and bonding with my belly dancing partner in utero...sans sonogram!

Belly dance for Birth - Update 30 Weeks

2010-08-20T06:08:00.001-04:00

I have now reached thirty weeks and feeling great!

In comparison to my previous pregnancies, I am feeling more agile, energetic and healthy. Using the bellydanceforbirth workout has really made my lower natural girdle stronger. I can not believe that this is my fifth pregnancy! In my third and fourth pregnancies I suffered hemrrhoids, nightly leg cramps, low pressure early (around five months), and poor circulation. This time I had a minor run in with hemrrhoids from over extending myself but with a few days of consistant 8-10 sets of kegels and no more heavy lifting I was a s good as new. My lower girdle is very strong and I have no low pressure or sag.

Additionally, I am drinking a liter of coconut water per day (along with 3 liters of regular water) and eating dandelion every other day with a moderate diet of dietary fiber(fresh fruits and vegetables), brown or parboiled rice, red meat once per week (lamb usually), eggs, chicken breast, nettle and raspberry tea with honey and of course my occasional (once a week or less) vice of a square of dark organic chocolate.

My midwife marvels at my blood pressure stating every appointment, " you seemed exceptionally relaxed today." My pressure is the same as a none pregnant twenty year old. However, I am years beyond twenty! She also says that compared to my last pregnancy, I seem much healthier and happier. My muscle tone is great and I have no back pain. My mood is stable and unless I miss sleep I am rarely "hormonal". As for my sleep, even though I sleep four-five hours at a time due to Ramadan, I am still well rested because I exercise before sleep and midday.

I have learned so much about myself and my body using this full mind, body and spirit workout! Thank you Maha may Allah reward you for sharing this with the world!Ameen.

The Comfort Zone

2010-08-16T15:19:00.000-04:00

When I began this blog, I apsired to have a place for myself and other mothers to go to share this wonderous journey of life...motherhood. For the past few months I have so much enjoyed my journey that, my blog has become silent. During the day ideas pass through my mind to share but I am again swept into my comfort zone enjoying my children.

Today, I wanted to share some inspiration with other mothers. The warmth that is the smiling and engaged faces of your children can be another mothers' inspiration. My children enjoy our one on one time together and our "family" time time together. Because we are now in Ramadan, I am finding that those times are more frequent. We read Quran and study the meanings of the revelation together. We recite and memorize together. We hug and snuggle more.

I want to hold on to this space in our lives forever. InshaAllah we can continue to maintain this closeness and build on what we have established this Ramadan.

Enjoy Yourself

2010-07-23T16:46:00.000-04:00

Being a mother can be a difficult balance at times. I was the youngest of four girls with a stay at home mom. I eagerly offered to help her with cooking and cleaning to be near her.

Now as a home schooling mother, my goal is to encourage my children to be balanced and respectful of all regardless of gender, age, creed or religion and responsible for themselves especially their actions…as we are taught by the Prophet SAW. My sons actually maintain a more organized room, play area and eating area than my girls and prefer cooking.

I require that we all (Mommy too) do what we “need” to do before we do what we “want to do”…which of course is to play in the dirt and make mud pies. We should enjoy our children’s childhood as much as they do.

Teaching Our Children How to get Along

2010-07-08T08:57:00.000-04:00

Remember we have to model appropriate behavior and conflict resolution from a very young age. Most of the time the younger child is the instigator. Reprimanding the younger child sends the messages to the older one that it is acceptable to "bully" the younger child. Does not seem that way to you at the time because you are in the "heat of the moment". But by your emotional state and the child's lack of understanding you are inadvertently sending that message.

So take a brief time out as the Mom and cool your head...make wudu, count to ten, go to another room and fold laundry...whatever it takes. The approach the older child saying that (name goes here) is younger than you and does not understand. Say let it go while sitting at the level of the younger child and starting to coddle or simply rub their back. Look at them both saying you are (siblings or whatever term you use) and should be nice with each other. If the younger child took the older one's toy, remind the older one that small children are only interested in a toy as long as you are so walk away. Let them play with the toy. Also redirect with another activity or toy. Separate them.

The more you repeat this conflict resolution eventually you will see the older one implement this behavior and over time there will be fewer conflicts. You will also have more energy.

Remember the children only want their way, show them with each interaction that the world is bigger than themselves and model patience, tolerance and acceptance of others desires.

May Allah guide us all.Ameen

Tea Time for Sanity

2010-06-28T08:16:00.001-04:00

Whether or not you are pregnant there are times, when you may feel off to say the least. You are irritable, cranky and easily find fault especially with those closest to you. That is when you need a tea time for sanity.

Not just any tea will do. Raspberry leaf and nettle is the perfect mixture for hormonal balance and detoxifying the system while supplying vitamins B, C, iron and other immune supporting nutrients. This is best for toning the uterus and helps for those with extreme menstrual pains.

From: http://www.jcrows.com/remarkableraspberry.html

Raspberry leaves (and fruit) are rich in citric acid, malic acid, tartaric acid, citrate, malate and tartarate of iron, potassium and calcium, calcium and potassium chloride, sulphate and phosphate, pectin, fragrine (an alkaloid that tones the tissues), a volatile oil, vitamins A, B, C, E, and fructose. Abundant in potassium (441 ppm), calcium (121 ppm) and magnesium (93 ppm), it is also rich in all important trace minerals such as manganese (.52 ppm), zinc (.35 ppm), iron (.04 ppm) and chromium (.02 ppm). Raspberry leaf tea is a gentle, soothing, nourishing drink - morning, noon and night.

From: http://www.botanical.com/botanical/mgmh/n/nettle03.html#lesmed

Nettle is anti-asthmatic: the juice of the roots or leaves, mixed with honey or sugar, will relieve bronchial and asthmatic troubles and the dried leaves, burnt and inhaled, will have the same effect.

Progress Report - bellydanceforbirth

2010-06-05T12:12:00.000-04:00

Well it has now been two weeks since I started my new prenatal workout...bellydanceforbirth. Over the next several months I will endeavor to chronicle my progress at least monthly.

For starters, I feel more energetic which is natural with any workout. But the real difference for me is the improved circulation. I usually have restriction in my hips and ankles. However, I have not suffered so far. Also considering this is my fifth pregnancy, I am not suffering any additional lower abdominal "pressure". During my third pregnancy I was recommended to invest in a hip girdle to help support my lower back and the weight of the baby during the latter part of my pregnancy. My friend had four children at that point and said that the more children you have the more relaxed the muscles become. Ever since I received this advice, I have been seeking an exercise that would help me reconstruct those weakened muscles and be an internal girdle. I believe that bellydanceforbirth may be that exercise. By using this method from your very first pregnancy you would not suffer the lower abdominal pressure in later pregnancies.

Friendships in Motherhood

2010-05-27T02:23:00.001-04:00

I guess we all sometimes look for someone who "truly" understands us. We want to call that person a "friend". But the best friend you have as a mother, and hopefully simultaneously as a wife, is really your husband. No matter how much he does not seem to "get you" or does not "help out" when you think you need it; he will always be there for you in the end. For example, during pregnancy women tend to be more emotional, however he has seen you every month during your cycle before pregnancy so it really is nothing new to him. The newness is only the longevity of your state. After a few pregnancies, even that is not a bother. His sensory memory will kick in before you know it and if you pay attention, he will start to pick up your slack and put his coat down so that you do not fall into the puddles. Those puddles that you are always there but you can no longer perceive in your "preoccupied state". If you really pay attention, he is your knight in shining armor and prince charming all in one... but most importantly you will find that he is your best friend!

More Tips for Comfort During Pregnancy

2010-05-20T05:18:00.001-04:00

Continuing our theme of comfort during pregnancy, I recently learned of and purchased a DVD for prenatal and postnatal exercise. The movements will also make your muscles ready for delivery. I am naturally intrigued by dancing as an exercise but sought something that would also suit me spiritually and physically. Specifically I was seeking something related to birth and my religion, Islam.

Here is an excerpt with Maha Al Musa from a recent interview with an American midwife concerning how specific pregnancy complaints are addressed with her method
(3/17/10 http://hakimamidwifery.blogspot.com/2010/03/interview-maha-al-musa-creator-of-belly.html):
'Then of course there are the physical realities of pregnancy and labour…For example, lower back pain a very common complaint which belly dance is very good at releasing through the sacrum and circling and rolling the pelvis with bended knees…..Also posterior presentations are more common today and are generally caused from too much reclining so we need women to exercise in upright positions with pelvis at its widest point and in labour to get women up with gravity and leaning forward to allow greater pelvic room with circular rotations ..this really helps with optimal foetal positioning……Bellydancebirth® techniques can help in so many ways – physical, mental and emotional….'

The founder of the Bellydancebirth® method is Maha Al Musa. She is a lovely woman from Australia of Palenstinian and Lebanese descent, mother of three and doula. I asked her a few questions regarding creating comfort in pregnancy through getting in harmony with your inner strength.

What are your thoughts on what a woman's inner comes from?

Maha: Well in all these years of being on the journey of “woman” I have learnt many things about myself, life and the world around me! Specifically in regards to a woman’s inner landscape I have learnt that women must not be in competition with man…if there is anything that has helped to humble, ground and bring me peace in my relationships is this fundamental law that women are not men and nor should they act as such!! There were times when I would argue like a “man” and see that being strong and upfront meant I had to be manlike but now I feel deeply that being a woman, in her softness, her strength, her courage, her wisdom is perfect in every way and stands side by side with “man” – like the oak and cypress tree in Khalil El Gibrans famous poem.

The power of silence and stillness holds much grace and strength….and a woman’s inner can sit in peace in this potent place where there is no struggle.

Inner Strength?

Maha: Ahh inner strength.. you see I see that strength is not a pillar of solitude rather it encompasses so many qualities within this pillar of strength..i think the notion of a woman's strength in the Western view is sort of a toughness but what i have learnt is that there is strength when we are vunreable, weak or contemplative and unsure....as wll as when we feel content, at peace, strong, empowered and resilient....STRENGTH engages a gamut of emotion from those perceived to be negative to those positive....

As you can see the theme of my newly created blog is living in harmony with oneself as a woman and mother. You seemed to have really passionately been pursuing that in your life. What led you on that journey?

Maha: I think the real desire to live life with a feeling of peace and contentment is the key to pursuing this harmony in relationship to all things – my family, my children, my partnership, my friends and my interactions in the world of work and play. My greatest teachers have been my three children who reflect and lead me to look deeper into myself every day as mother/woman. They have purity enmeshed within a consciousness that knows how to manipulate and push my buttons – I become witness through their behavior to watch myself in all my glory and failings – without harsh judgment but with eyes wide open I see the truth of “me” and must learn to be honest with myself and so with others.

How has belly dancing personally impacted you physically? Is your mental as well as physical strength increased?

Maha: For me dancing the belly dance has always been a natural, social and joyful dance..I have never been a performer as such -although I did have some sessions at a friend’s Middle Eastern restaurant a few years back- with live musicians to instill confidence really but have never been a “performer”. I think belly dance is great - physically because it keeps my joints supple, my mind surrendered and my Spirit lifted…if ever I feel sluggish, a bit down or lacking motivation I can put on beautiful Arabic music and dance in my living room and all around the house and feel alive and re awakened again!! It’s like having a natural charge of energy always within reach….and of course exercise is good for the heart and soul!

How has being a teacher to women impacted you spiritually?

Maha: I LOVE teaching women this art – there is a spiritual satisfaction to sharing my love and passion for conscious birthing and empowered choices – my work affirms to me through the beauty of the transformation I witness in women that I am on a positive path and this gives me great incentive and hope for humanity..change is happening for the better one step at a time and if each of us makes a contribution then over time our children’s children will benefit from our conscious choices …….

What have you learned and gained from your students?

Maha: That is a great question Cordelia - I have learnt that letting go of “control” and being in allowance of the time we spend together as student and teacher is of utmost importance..I see the lines blur here..we become the energy of subtlety and joyfulness and in the atmosphere of feeling safe and secure we all become one in the circle of the feminine……we give and take, we share and care for one another..I generally don’t like to use the word “teacher” because it implies hierarchy and my work in birth and education is a real leveler…the exchange and learning’s work both ways…

As a doula, what have you learned about the inner strength of women?

Maha: Within the well of strength for a birthing woman lies all of our answers – some surprising, some enlightening and some difficult to accept and all that is in between…..within the perception of strength we can find a treasure chest of gems, each a different color, shape and reflection of ourselves beckoning us to walk the road of exploration. These many facets will shine a light upon all of our qualities that are often accentuated in the birth experience….whether weakness, strength or ambivalence sits great learning’s….women are courageous, powerful, soft, feisty, complex, wiling to take risks, unsure, domineering, emotional,- some fiercely hold onto their ideals whilst others will allow the “other” to take control for them….but in all of this we come back to trusting that our journey is perfect for us and that to remain fluid with courage within is of utmost importance.

How do you recommend we reconnect with our in strength and harmony? How has this helped you as a mother?

Maha: Again it is about “trust’ ….sometimes I see myself swimming against the tide of the natural flow of events that unfold before me……this natural flow is to me the mark of Godliness….

….generally I tap into my instincts and intuition to guide me into this God state and I periodically check in to see if it’s my rational mind making my decisions or my intuition…..I think tapping into instinct in birthing and mothering is a useful tool because of the overload of sometimes conflicting information we receive about how to birth, how to look after baby, how to raise our children..in the end we have to do what sits right for ourselves……

What would you say to someone who was too scared to trust her body to a natural birth?

Maha: I would reassure her first that I understand where her fear lies and that fear is a valid emotion..once accepted we can work through it..sometimes fear can be a catalyst for growth and change…if a woman knows her rights, if she knows her body, if she knows her capabilities , strength and weaknesses she can push through the veil of fear and dance into a place of acceptance for what is..when there is acceptance for ourselves fear begins to dissipate because the struggle is lessened..birth is a mystery, it is unknown and we must allow that mystery to unfold in every moment and know that the birth process is normal and natural when a woman is left to follow and trust her instincts and is not interfered with…..ensuring one is physically in tune as well as healthy and taking good care of herself is important..a woman needs to prepare for birth in every way to at least give herself and her baby the best chance – again though the process is mysterious and sometimes out of our control…this leads me back to Godliness and that all will be revealed to us in good time..

Who was that source of inspiration for you? Your Aunt or Grandmother? How did witnessing births in Palestine affect your decision on how to birth your children?

Maha: The source for me was my ancestry and especially my Palestinian grandmother Aminah who birthed nine children at home – a common practice in Palestine and many of the Arab countries…..this gave me such great faith and strength in my own ability to birth naturally and at home….if she could do it then I could do it 0- if THEY could do it then WE could do it!! I love that thread of birthing inspiration that weaves a palette of possibility around all of us…..it is this knowing and this influence that I carry in my work in bellydancebirth® encouraging women to trust and connect with this gracious gift …we must come back to this inner knowing and draw upon its inspiration once again to create a safe birthing haven for our daughters and sisters for their futures and that of all of humanity.

Inshallah…..(God willing)

Thank you for your time and sharing this beautiful and spiritual tradition with us.

You can watch a trailer of the DVD here and visit her website here.

Teaching Responsibility

2010-05-15T17:36:00.000-04:00

Teaching responsibility is not random or finite. And as much as we wish, it is not even tangible. It is the evolution of the building of the character and the guiding of the being that is your child. Perhaps "teaching" is the wrong word to begin with. It starts with that first spark of interest in the toddler mimicking what you do. He or she sees you sweep and wants to do the same...or to wipe the table or to fold the laundry. The child wants to do it because he / she loves you and wants to be more like you. From this viewpoint it is logical that we should then make "chores" a natural progression for the child like learning to walk, talk and hold a spoon. We should not impose our desires on that child because we are overworked and need the house perfect 24 hours a day. It is more logical to say, my child although 18 months, wants to clean the kitchen floor after I cook. So I will show him how I do that when I cook. My child, although 2 years old, wants to sweep. So I will show him how I do that. In this way when that child is five or six years old and you are a little tired, they will offer," Mom you don't have to clean the floor after you cook. Remember when I was a baby, you showed me how. I can do that for you." And they will be so very proud of themselves and you will enjoy a mixture of relief and relaxation.

I have tried charts and rewards but I have found that all the "work" I did encouraging their musings as toddlers and infants is what really shines through. This is my fifth pregnancy and I am neither miserable nor very sick but my two oldest, now seven and nine, recognize that sometimes I need to nap. Daily without coercion, I hear, "Mom you go rest now while I do the dishes." Or,"I will watch my little brother so that you can relax." Or, "Mom I will make the lunches so we can go to the playground". My home as a whole is not perfect, but they offer to help and try their best to clean up after themselves and split the responsibility or encourage their five year old sister to help out.

And with that I had an epiphany, you can not teach responsibility. You have to encourage the sparks of light throughout your child's existence from their earliest show of interest in "helping out" and continue that tempered and enjoyable expression. You will see it progress as they evolve into their own and it will be natural...in harmony with their character and the flow of your lives together.

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T13:55:00.000-04:00

Is is there only one day out of the entire year that we are appreciated? Think about the smile that greets you every morning from your child or when your husband remembers that you might want a sweet on his way home from work. What about the random, "you are the best mom in the whole world!" while checking out at the grocery with a warm hug and sloppy kiss? Do we as mother's truly wait around for this the second Sunday of May to see how our families will prove that they appreciate us? Do we really think that they don't? Is the proof of their love and appreciation in how much money they spend, or how many flowers they give, or how little you have to work that day?

Personally I feel the appreciation of my family with every tender moment and challenging moment and difficult day and pleasant day. We are building a life and a bond with every minute of every day. Life can not be measured in flowers, diamonds or dollars. It is not quantifiable or to be simplified into a commodity. The struggle of the continuing commitment to strive together and build that masterpiece is more than can be recognized in one of every year. It is manifest in everyday of every year as long as God gives us breath in our bodies, love in our hearts and harmony in our families.

Harmony does not always mean that everything is going well. Sometimes it means that the wheels are at least turning , however slowly, in the directions of a common goal. You are all humans, imperfect beings, endeavoring to achieve something each day. Cherish each effort of each participant and love the contributor without judgement.

Make everyday a Happy Family Day!

Rejuvenation

2010-05-07T17:08:00.000-04:00

On Fridays I try and do something new and exciting with my children. However, at the end of the week I am usually spent and reluctant to cook. So before we started our adventure, we stopped by MOM's for our picnic food. I selected some vegan sandwiches, the children selected organic tortilla chips, sushi and...now for the drinks. Of course, we were going to drink water. I had filtered water at home and had at least filled up five stainless steel water bottles. But my youngest daughter who is five years old insisted upon juice. The thought of even "organic" "natural sugar" drinks make me cringe. But I agreed to juice. It became a circus...this one wanted Honestade...that one on honest kids juice. The final request was for the "blue" juice! She, my five year old, had to have it! Then my two year old chimed in that he also had to have it ! Okay so we bought two "blue" juices and we were off.

I had one more errand before we started our adventure in search a new playground. On the way my two youngest had to have their "blue" juice. I asked that my oldest supervise the two year's old imbibing so that we do not had juice all over him and his car seat. Inevitably she looked away and confiscated the juice now dampening his shirt. So we skipped the second errand and arrived earlier than planned at the playground. It was sweltering hot and barren of children. But my children wanted to play anyway and before lunch. Fortunately the new playground was located at the "new" masjid where we were going to be attending jummah shortly. After much coercion they finally agreed to eat something, then I offered the water first and surprisingly no clamoring juice request. One fifteen came slowly but surely and I ushered everyone to the bathrooms to freshen up and to make wudu. At that moment while I was making wudu, I realized that I forgot to feed myself and hydrate myself sufficiently in an effort to focus on nourishing my children. Any other day, that would have been fine and I could have survived the 45 minute khutbah and salat. But the physiology of being in my first trimester complicated things. By the time the iqamah was called, I was cramping and dizzy. I had to make salah seated, in my first trimester! (I thought, am I getting old?) Alhamdullilah, I was able to complete the prayer and round everyone to the car quickly. They were with their friends now talking and running between the car and the playground. I put myself in the car desperately searching for cool water or anything to drink or to eat. There it was sitting the half drank confiscated "blue" juice! I gulped it down...AH! still cool and very refreshing...REJUVENATION!! Alhamdullilah!

What is this stuff that at that moment seemed to have saved my life? At the bottom it read "Good Source of: Electrolytes". Of course that is just what I needed. Then I thought what has electrolytes has potassium and other goodies. I read the side panel for the ingredients and there it read..."potassium...vitamin C". This miracle drink was called O.N.E. One Natural Experience. I knew that I had found the answer to my dehydration problems during pregnancy. Even though this is my fifth pregnancy and insha'Allah will be my fifth child, summers are hard for me to keep hydrated running behind four children usually alone. I bring water but inevitably it is never enough. But this drink, immediately brought me back to life.

Comfort During Pregnancy

2010-05-03T09:42:00.000-04:00

Although pregnancy can be a wonderful and exciting time, it can also be a time of great discomfort. As your body expands in new directions, you may lose your balance while walking or find it difficult to sit, stand or sleep comfortably. I have found a few solutions to these problems during my pregnancies. These are solutions that I have found simply through trial and error during three pregnancies and so far two natural deliveries (one in the hospital and one at home)!

Exercise. I can not stress enough the importance of exercise. It helps to keep you balanced, energetic and relieves aches and pains. Usually I do some simple movements at least twice a day. It fits into a busy schedule and can be done while cooking, after a shower or as soon as you roll out of bed. The main thing to remember while exercising is to increase the flow of oxygen in your blood. While preparing to move inhale slowly through your nose, during movements exhale slowly through your nose. Also remember since you are pregnant, your joints are very loose and you can not make sudden jerky movements. Everything should be done slow and easy. If you were not active prior to pregnancy, consult your health professional first and do less than is described here. I am a very active person and work out regularly.

I have discovered that lower back pain is often related to lack of rotation of the spine and hips. Short of enrolling in a belly dancing class, you can do the simple movements below. Keeping your spine, core, hips and thighs in shape are key to staying balanced, reducing lower leg swelling and strengthening those muscles for delivery. It also may help your abdomen bounce back sooner after delivery.

Side Crunches.I usually start out on the floor on my side and do side crunches. This is like a regular crunch that is done while lying on your back but done while lying on your side. Do a set of 5.

Then still lying on your side, straighten the leg on the floor and keep the other one bent with the foot firmly on the floor. Lift the straightened leg slowly ten times.

Straight Leg Lifts. Now repeat the same on the other side starting with the side crunches. Them slowly lift yourself to a seated position and then onto all fours. Stretch your back into "child's pose"(see picture below)

Side Leg lifts. After child's pose, remain on all fours and keeping your leg bent lift it at a 90 degree angle with the sole of your foot facing the ceiling. Do a set of 10. Now do a set of 10 with the other leg.

Now do side lifts again with the leg bent. Do a set of 5 with one leg then the other.

Repeat two child's pose.

slowly rock back and balance on your feet while in a low squat and slowly lift to a full standing position.

Upper Body. Now let's work the upper body. Start with a set of 10 small arm circles. Then stop and straightened your arms out on each side like a plane. Then alternate by lifting them straight up in the air. Do a set of 10. Now return to doing arm circles but larger.(set of 10)

Now squat in a horse stance. Repeat the arm movements above.

Hips. Let's loosen our lower body. Remaining in the squat, put your hands on your hips and make small slow hip circles. Five to the left then five to the right. Stop and try to straighten your spine by tilting your hips forward slightly and relaxing your shoulders.

Leg Stretches. Stretch it out by slowly bending your left leg while straightening the right and alternate five times.

Follow your short work out with a cup of water, coconut water or low fat milk and a banana or other fruit of your choice. It is always best to revitalize those muscles with a good source of hydration and potassium.

Our Food Sources

2010-04-28T15:16:00.000-04:00

Enough can not be said about exploring our food sources with our children. Today we went to visit a local creamery with some old home schooling friends. It was a brisk day but the children still enjoyed and played in the mud and water. I actually got to sit and have some adult conversation for a while. It was great for them and for me. However, I was very disturbed by the fact that the calves were separated from their mothers for our benefit. In the calf house there was one with its cord still attached who could barely stand and cringed at every child's attempted touch. I was struck with the reality that one day this calf will grow into a full grown cow and we may drink her milk. I was struck by the fact that if human babies can not thrive or develop successfully without its mother's physical touch or nearness - or milk - what physiological affects are impacted on this animal? How will it effect the human who drinks its milk? How is this "local creamery" different from any other mass producing dairy farm?

We have a local family farm that also has cows, jersey dairy cows. When the cow is breeding we go without milk. Once her calf is born we share the milk with the calf. It may from a business point of view sound unsanitary but isn't this what farmers have been doing for centuries? Living in harmony with nature? Weren't the people more compassionate, patient and understanding of one another. Back in the days when meat, eggs and milk with were not on the daly menu regardless of the season, obesity was not an epidemic and heart problems were not rampant. And what of the heart? Besides the physical effects of our diet and lifestyle, how does our diet effect our behavior?

First stage of Motherhood

2010-04-25T07:16:00.001-04:00

Pregnancy is the first stage in our journey to motherhood. Reflect on yours or if you are pregnant for the first time now, how are you feeling. Research proves that the more out of sync you are with your body the worse the onset of nausea in the first trimester. This is the first opportunity to become in harmony with yourself and your child. Let your body flow with the beauty of the changes. You are now supporting another human being. It has been done for centuries, your mother did it, your grandmother did it - and so can you!

Nausea usually signifies that you body lacks nutrition and hydration. Yes you must eat more but choose wisely. Solve the nutritional needs and hydration needs by eating more fruits and vegetables. Apples, carrots, grapes, and melons are great sources of water. Also consider new fruits like mango, bananas and coconut which are excellent sources of potassium (for those joint and muscle cramps), magnesium, phosphorus and electrolytes to rehydrate you and support your immunity. During pregnancy your doctor will tell you that you cannot take cold medicines. However, you resistance is lowered by the new demands on the body so solve that problem with prevention. And of course drink more water. In the summer months, you will need 15-18 glasses of water! This is a challenge for someone who may not even drink 5 glasses when not pregnant.

Welcome to Living in Harmony Motherhood!

2010-04-19T16:55:00.000-04:00

Living in Harmony Motherhood is about the daily journey we take as mothers with our children, through the reflection of us in their behavior, passions and personalities and being in harmony with that reality. It is about loving each moment and cherishing every breath.